I have goals I plan on keeping.

If you’re anything like me, you can’t stick to anything. It’s not because I’m busy and have no time, and it’s not because I’m not interested in the goals I set myself. I just procrastinate and find excuses not to do the things I want to do. I find that to be quite odd. These are things that I want to do, yet I find excuses not to do them.

I recently told myself I’d make a list a week, of different things, such as ‘words that make me feel good’ or ‘reasons I’m a good person’. I stuck that out for one week, before I forgot about it (I have literally just remembered it).

I told myself I’d start doing squats daily, again. That only lasted 2 days. I ate two pub meals today (lunch @ Wetherspoons, dinner @ Southfield). The pub meals made me want to go for a run, but it’s midnight, and it’s cold outside.

It’s also cold in my house, which is one of my many excuses for not getting anything done. As a student, I live in a student house with 5 other students. We’re quite poor, being students and all. Our rent is a lot of money, and that doesn’t include bills. We can’t afford heating to be on for too long, so we have a timer for when the heating is on. 8am-9am, then off all day, and back on 6pm-8pm. We have a large house, so the heating barely heats it up. The cold is a reason I ‘don’t exericse’ (too cold to wear a vest and shorts), and is also a reason I don’t ‘write notes from books’. My hands are cold when out in the open, so reading books on poetry criticism and writing notes is not ideal.

About ten days ago, I told myself I’d learn a new word every day to widen my vocabulary. That lasted a few days. I gave up and forgot about that until now. There was no particular reason as to why I gave that one up, but I wish I didn’t. I’d know 10 new words by now.

I have goals I want to keep.

I always complain to my family and friends that I’m ‘bored’ and I ‘have nothing to do’, but that’s not entirely true. I could be doing things, and I will be.

I want to read a book a week. 52 books a year. Complete books. This could include a book of poetry, or a Shakespeare play (or other plays). This shouldn’t be too hard to stick to, as I’m an English student. But I’d like to read for pleasure again. It’s been a while.

I also want to stick with the squats and workouts.

I will stick with these.

I will.

My 2am Bestselling Novel

I was lay in bed last night, thinking. At first, my thoughts weren’t focused on anything in particular. It was 2am, and that’s the time people think up great things, isn’t it? After a while, I became focused, and I began to think up a plot to a novel. I don’t think it’s out there yet, but then again, I haven’t read every book in the world, so it could be. But that’s okay, because plots are rarely original now.

“Get out of bed and write this down”, I told myself in a sleepy haze.

“No, I’ll remember it.” I don’t remember it – not all of it, anyway. I can remember bits of it. I should have expected this. I was too lazy to get out of bed, walk to my desk, put on my glasses, sit down, open up a notebook, and begin to write. It’s my own fault, really.

Bits of the plot keep coming to me as I do different things.

I was making crumpets and tea this morning when I woke up, and remembered that there were 3 main characters. I remembered the physical appearance I had imagined for the girl. That had been an inspiration from ‘Shoe 10’ in my last post. I’d like to be like her. I don’t remember what the other two characters look like.

I was looking at a notepad on my desk when I opened up my laptop. On the front of it is an inspirational quote, that reads “When you can’t change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails”. That made me think about the plot a little bit, how the lives of the three characters intertwine.

Last night, when I made the story up in my head, I thought it would be a bestseller. I imagined what the front cover of the book would look like. Something similar to Alexa Chung’s “IT”, because that’s quirky and original.

One day, I’ll write the novel. Or I won’t.

The Compelling ’12 Shoes For 12 Ex-Lovers’

I recently came across a link on facebook to Sebastian Errazuriz’s ’12 Shoes For 12 Ex-Lovers’, and I found it to be completely awe-inspiring. I’m not usually interested in art in any way, but these designs were formed by personal experiences, which I think is just so creative and magical. The idea is just so unique and fantastic – who would have thought to do anything like this?! This art form is the re-telling of a story, and although it’s not in the form of a book, I can appreciate it for all its meaning. I posted a link on twitter and said ‘I’ve not read anything as compelling and powerful as this in a long time’. I recently read a lot of Shakespeare for two of my modules at university, and I love Shakespeare almost as much as life itself, but Sebastian Errazuriz has truly captured me. Stories like this one are rare, and it seems to be done with such ease and little effort. I truly admire him.

My boyfriend and me were lay in bed last night, and I told him about the article. He didn’t say much after reading it, but I keep telling people about it. I was in a phone call with my sister a few hours ago, and I told her to read it, too. She didn’t seem too interested. I seem to be appreciating the beauty of it more than anybody else I know.

The shoes are like chapters – 12 chapters in his life, with a woman for each one.

If this doesn’t inspire you, I don’t know what will.

My favourite stories are Shoe 1 “Honey” Natasha, Shoe 6 “Hot Bitch” Caroline, Shoe 11 “The Ghost” Valentina, and Shoe 12, “The Rock” Alice.